Life

Life is a crazy thing. When you're younger (let's say in high school), you think that when you're all grown up life will be great. You will be married to the man of your dreams. He will dote on you 24/7. You'll have that fantastic home with the white picket fence around it. 3 or 4 kids would be perfect. Oh, and they will be perfect kids - cute, polite, smart, always willing to lend a hand, tidy, respectful, and they would love to be with you. Your husband would have the perfect job - 9 to 5. You would never be tired, or stressed, or heaven forbid - a little grouchy. You would never have to worry about watching your weight or finances. Your house would be immaculate and you would always be the perfect wife, mother, and hostess. Bags under the eyes would not exist, along with the need for Red Bull. Extra hours in a day - why ever would we need those? Patience would not be a virtue because we would always have an abundance of patience. Life would be perfect!
Maybe it's just January. Maybe it's just me. My life is good. In the grand scheme of things, I have it really good. But..... every once in a while when things start to happen I have to take a step back, look at the issues/problems, and take inventory of what's really important. I did this yesterday. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Nothing life threatening. Just.... life. Dylan, who is 90% of the time my easy child, has been experiencing some teenage hormones/issues. He wants it all and thinks he deserves more than he has. While I take a deep breath, I remind him of how blessed he is and how spoiled he is. He threw out attitude about wanting to go to Disneyland, him getting a new phone (as if!), and me picking him up 10 minutes early from a friends (how dare I?). This was all in an afternoon. Then, after firmly declining the Klondike for days, he decided he wanted to go. He wanted to go and we had a few hours to get everything ready. BLESS HIS HEART!! Unfortunately, I started to cry. I had had enough of him and I cried. Which brought him back to reality and he was once again the humble child. Now on to Braxton - he is so smart, and can be the most loving kid on the planet. He gives me huge hugs every morning and every night and often times in between. Lately, he's been getting, shall we say, sassy and mouthy. He doesn't want to get ready for school which makes it difficult 5 mornings a week. I'm sweating by the time he leaves and ready to crack open a can of Pepsi. I'm hoping this is a phase. It could be because he has a hard time going to bed. It could be that while we think he is sleeping he is rearranging furniture, or turning his tv on, or dressing and undressing himself and his stuffed monkey. As a reward for his night time activities, most of his toys have been taken out of his room, leaving his bed, dresser and when we feel generous, his tv. BLESS HIS HEART! Now Nati. I've said it before and I'll say it again. She is pure sass. I know this is just normal "5 year old girl who has been spoiled her entire life" but lately - grrrr! To be honest, I can handle the sass. She's so fun - loves to dance and sing and loves everything girlie. Our issue and a HUGE part of my stress is her development. She's in kindergarten. She knows all her letters and sounds but reading has been a monstrous challenge. I have resorted to hiring a tutor to help her because everything I do seems to be backfiring. I have sight words taped all over the house. We read books and books every day. Her speech is another worry. I met with the speech therapist yesterday. She has come a long ways but still needs a little help. They approved her to be pulled out twice a week for 15 minute sessions. This is all good and I can only hope that she will really kick it and finish it out.
So, at the end of the day, after I have shed tears and worried myself into a frenze, I took a few minutes to take inventory. Yes, my kiddos are causing me some worries but they are healthy and happy. They know I love them more than anything. They have the necessities required to be a kid. We have fun together and laugh til we cry. They have strong little testimonies that I love to hear. They are smart, loving and kind (most of the time), and have made my dreams come true. I love to hear about what they want to be when they grow up, and when their faces light up over simple things - like a snap decision to make orange julius, and when Dylan recognizes that the moment we are having is one he will remember forever. I often hear that the teenage years are the hardest and I know that we are just starting them, but I have really enjoyed it so far (aside from the occassional hiccups). We hang out together - him teaching me how to shuffle and me threatening to chaperone a dance. I love seeing Braxtons creations with his monkey (we've made monkey a bed, a coat, and blankets) and how excited he is when I make him chicken for dinner - who would think that chicken could be such a happy thing? I love seeing Nati light up whenever she hears Lady GaGa (I know - not the best example but wow! My girl can dance to that music) and the squeal she gives when she hears the back door open announcing that her dad is home. I love that they all want me to pay attention to everything they do all the time. Ok, I love this most of the time because, let's be honest, I can't pay attention to everything while driving down the road or while attempting to not burn dinner again (which happens often lately).I know that I am truly blessed! I might not have the white picket fence but I'm ok with that. I have a home I love, a husband I love and that loves me, 3 kids that are my joy, and friends and family that are wonderful. I have a great life!