My Cup Runneth Over

5 Year Old Picture
Shortly after Braxton was born
First family pictures with Braxton
This last weekend at Kellys Grove
Three miracles

Today is the 5 year anniversary of bringing Braxton home. I call it “Gotcha Day”. I look back over this last five years and am in awe of how my life changed at that time. It took just under 3 years and 3 miscarriages to get him here. Knowing how hard, frustrating, and depressing that time was I wouldn’t change it for anything. I questioned everything I thought I believed. I hated going to church, especially fast Sundays when babies were blessed. I hated watching Dylan grow up alone. I asked “why?” every single day. I watched Jason struggle with how to handle me and how to keep himself afloat at the same time. My answer came, later than I wanted or at times needed, but it did come. Jason & I had our papers in with LDS Family Services for about 5 months when we met with our worker and she surprised us with the news that we had been picked to be the parents of a baby boy. Our birth mother had prepared a package to tell us that we were the ones she wanted to have her baby. She was only 15 at the time. We got to meet her and her mom two weeks later. She was amazing and we fell in love with her. About a week and a half later Braxton was born. We had planned on bringing him home three days after that but were told that she wanted to have the weekend with him. It was the hardest weekend of my life. Even driving to the agency I was literally sick. I worried that my cell phone would ring with news of her changing her mind. I remember getting close to the agency and praying that I could make it through and the song “Calling All Angels” by Train came on the radio. It was an answer to my prayer because I needed every angel with me. We got there and met with our worker first who told us that the papers had already been signed and took us to meet our son. That afternoon my world changed. I looked into the eyes of a heartbroken but happy girl as she gave us her most precious possession. I watched a very young girl make the most mature, important and hard decision of her life, knowing how hard it would be. I don’t know many adults that could have gone through what she did. As I looked at him there was no doubt in my mind that he was ours and that this was the way Heavenly Father wanted it to happen. I watched her walk away and I was torn between my own happiness and her hurt. We got a letter from her about a week later saying that she was recovering physically and that she knew she had made the right decision. We have kept in touch from then on, about once a year. She got married last year in the Bountiful Temple. We were able to go to the reception. It was great to see her again and meet the lucky young man that she married. She was so happy and has accomplished so much. She will always be my angel and I will love her forever. Braxton is such a blessing to our family. He makes me laugh so hard, reminds me to chill out, and keeps me busy. It doesn’t get any better than this. Before he was born all Dylan talked about was “his little brother”. They are brothers in every sense of the word; they fight, play, wrestle, draw together, and amaze me with their ability to be so close yet so much like brothers should be. Braxton and Natalie are what I always imagined a brother and sister growing up together should be. He loves her and protects her, all the while picking on her. He fits in with us and is loved by everyone. It’s amazing that life doesn’t go the way you planned at times but you still end up in the same place, maybe just a different path. I am so grateful for my family. I have a wonderful husband and three fabulous kids. I have two great families and wonderful friends that make me smile every day. In other words “My cup runneth over”.